Chrissy Teigen is depressed and feels lost after being canceled amid cyber-bullying scandal – Daily Mail

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Chrissy Teigen admitted she’s been ‘depressed’ and ‘lost’ since taking a step back from public life after she was called out for ‘cyber-bullying’ people in years past.

The model/foodie, 35, addressed the scandal for the first time since her June apology on Wednesday as she shared an Instagram snap of her view from ‘cancel club.’

In her caption, Chrissy told her 34.9million followers how it ‘feels so weird to pretend like nothing happened’ while she feels like ‘utter s**t in real life,’ explaining how she misses connecting with her fans.  

Sad: Chrissy Teigen has taken to Instagram to say she's 'depressed' and 'lost' as she deals with the fallout from cruel old tweets from the star which recently resurfaced

Sad: Chrissy Teigen has taken to Instagram to say she's 'depressed' and 'lost' as she deals with the fallout from cruel old tweets from the star which recently resurfaced

Sad: Chrissy Teigen has taken to Instagram to say she’s ‘depressed’ and ‘lost’ as she deals with the fallout from cruel old tweets from the star which recently resurfaced

Her view: In her caption, Chrissy told her 34.9million followers how it 'feels so weird to pretend like nothing happened' while she feels like 'utter s**t in real life,' explaining how she misses connecting with her fans

Her view: In her caption, Chrissy told her 34.9million followers how it 'feels so weird to pretend like nothing happened' while she feels like 'utter s**t in real life,' explaining how she misses connecting with her fans

Her view: In her caption, Chrissy told her 34.9million followers how it ‘feels so weird to pretend like nothing happened’ while she feels like ‘utter s**t in real life,’ explaining how she misses connecting with her fans

‘Iiiii don’t really know what to say here…just feels so weird to pretend nothing happened in this online world but feel like utter s**t in real life,’ the statement, which was under a first-person perspective snap taken from Teigen’s living room.

‘Going outside sucks and doesn’t feel right, being at home alone with my mind makes my depressed head race.’

Chrissy was ready to admit her way wasn’t helping much, saying: ‘But I do know that however I’m handling this now isn’t the right answer.’

‘I feel lost and need to find my place again, I need to snap out of this, I desperately wanna communicate with you guys instead of pretending everything is okay,’ she explained, adding: ‘I’m not used to any other way!!’ 

The star went on to quip that ‘Cancel club’ was ‘fascinating,’ but that she’s ‘learned a whollllle lot’ from the experience.

‘Only a few understand it and it’s impossible to know til you’re in it,’ she went on. ‘And it’s hard to talk about it in that sense because obviously you sound whiney when you’ve clearly done something wrong.

Learning her lesson? The star went on to quip that 'Cancel club' was 'fascinating,' but that she's 'learned a whollllle lot' from the experience

Learning her lesson? The star went on to quip that 'Cancel club' was 'fascinating,' but that she's 'learned a whollllle lot' from the experience

Learning her lesson? The star went on to quip that ‘Cancel club’ was ‘fascinating,’ but that she’s ‘learned a whollllle lot’ from the experience

‘It just sucks. There is no winning. But there never is here anyhow.’ 

Pivoting to a more positive note, Chrissy told her fans: ‘All I know is I love you guys, I miss you guys, and I just needed an honest moment with you because I’m just…tired of being sick with myself all day.’

Wondering if sharing was wise, she went on: ‘I don’t even know if it’s good to say any of this because it’s gonna get brutally picked apart but I dunno. I can’t do this silent s**t anymore!’

Then, she reached out to anyone else who’s been ‘cancelled,’ writing: ‘If you or someone you know has also been cancelled please let me know if there is a cancel club reunion because I could use some time off my couch!’ before signing off with love and thanks.

Though this was the first time Chrissy spoke about the cyberbullying scandal since June, she did recently share some carefree vacation snapshots with John and the family online.

Looking carefree: Though this was the first time Chrissy spoke about the cyberbullying scandal since June, she did recently share some vacation snapshots with John and the family

Looking carefree: Though this was the first time Chrissy spoke about the cyberbullying scandal since June, she did recently share some vacation snapshots with John and the family

Looking carefree: Though this was the first time Chrissy spoke about the cyberbullying scandal since June, she did recently share some vacation snapshots with John and the family

Teigen first attempted to right a few of her wrongs with an apology shared to Medium in June — her first time speaking out since taking a social media hiatus after a host of bullying allegations came to light.

‘Hi all. It has been a VERY humbling few weeks,’ she wrote at the time.

‘I know I’ve been quiet, and lord knows you don’t want to hear about me, but I want you to know I’ve been sitting in a hole of deserved global punishment, the ultimate “sit here and think about what you’ve done.”

She added: ‘Not a day, not a single moment has passed where I haven’t felt the crushing weight of regret for the things I’ve said in the past.’ 

Teigen became the target of backlash after her abusive tweets originally made in 2011 resurfaced online, including one that urged a then 16-year-old Courtney Stodden to kill themselves.

Speaking up: Teigen first attempted to right a few of her wrongs with an apology shared to Medium in June ¿ her first time speaking out since taking a social media hiatus after a host of bullying allegations came to light

Speaking up: Teigen first attempted to right a few of her wrongs with an apology shared to Medium in June ¿ her first time speaking out since taking a social media hiatus after a host of bullying allegations came to light

Speaking up: Teigen first attempted to right a few of her wrongs with an apology shared to Medium in June — her first time speaking out since taking a social media hiatus after a host of bullying allegations came to light

Lindsay Lohan was also the subject of an insensitive post by Teigen, where a tweet from January 2011 read: ‘Lindsay adds a few more slits to her wrists when she sees emma stone.’ 

Old tweets from 2013 have also resurfaced in which she described nine-year-old Oscar nominee Wallis as ‘cocky’ and called Teen Mom star Farrah Abraham, then 21, a ‘wh***’.

Michael Costello accused Chrissy and her stylist, Monica Rose, of blacklisting him from the industry which spawned his own suicidal ideations as the pair went ‘out of their way to threaten people and brands that if they were in any shape or form associated with me, they would not work with any of them.’

Cameroonian singer Dencia claimed that Chrissy had pushed her twice at the 2016 Grammy Awards after allegedly believing that the singer’s assistant had recorded her on his phone. 

 

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